'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
