Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
