in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize