after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize