i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
