I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Randomize
