this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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