Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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