shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
