chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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