just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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