Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
