I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
