Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wear drunk well.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
