i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
