I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
