I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
