Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize