In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
