2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
