I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
