He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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