"it" just moved
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
