he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
