a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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