I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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