I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
