this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
