I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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