Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
