What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
