Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize