Old men and throwing up are my life now.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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