It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
