im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize