will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
