you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
