Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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