sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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