Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Is it because I queefed?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
