fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
