Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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