I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
