it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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