So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
