Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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