If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
