well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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