return my video game
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
