the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize