Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
