your room smells of hookers.
And success
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
