At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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