He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize