i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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