oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We left an ass print on the piano.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
