Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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