so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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