my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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