I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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