Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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