I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
