Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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