Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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