office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize