what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
