im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Dear god my vagina.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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