Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
