Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
