where am i from again
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
