Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i out mim tonsoeep
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