At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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