"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
