when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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