Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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