Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
