thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need a burrito and a hug.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
