I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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