k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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