Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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