Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
