He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize