Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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