i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize