God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
