Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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